


How Goku Lost His Virginity.

by wedjateye



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedjateye/pseuds/wedjateye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goku is <s>five hundred and</s> eighteen, so when he insisted it was time he lost his virginity, I really had no excuse for struggling to think of him as a sexual being. None at all. Apart from the obvious distraction of Hakkai and Gojyo shagging each other all over the place, that is. Oh, wait, that's only in my head...</p><p>Conceived as a contribution to Kispexi2 needing to write non-virgin Goku seducing Sanzo (not her usual flavour) for a spring kink prompt. My Goku sexual-blind-spot likely would have lasted forever otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Goku Lost His Virginity.

Gojyo rolls onto his belly and burrows his head under the pillow, clamping it firmly to both ears. He tries to lose himself in the harshness of his breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

Fuckit. It just makes him feel more hunted; the hair at the nape of his neck prickling under the gaze of those friggin’ weird eyes. Even in the depths of night, even with his own eyes tightly shut, Gojyo’s sure he can sense them glowing.

Gojyo fights his way free of the bedclothes, slaps at the lamp to dispel the darkness and glares at his roommate.

“Stop it already!”

Goku stares back unblinkingly.

Gojyo wishes he’d saved some of the meatbuns he’d bought earlier in the day. Not that they’d worked the last dozen times he shoved one in Goku’s mouth. Damn monkey had taken to spitting them back out and that was just unnatural.

“Look, you want to prove something by not talking, eating or sleeping, that’s just dandy but I need my beauty rest!”

“I’m not even snoring,” Goku replies calmly.

Gojyo presses the heels of both hands hard to his eyeballs until he sees stars. When did Goku develop an attention-span and why the fuck did Gojyo have to get caught up in the fall out?

Silence.

Gojyo sighs.

Silence.

A week of fucking silence. Or a week of silent non-fucking.

Who knew Gojyo actually needed that chainsaw-rumble to get to sleep?

“It doesn’t matter how many times you ask me, the answer’s still no.”

“I didn’t ask.”

Gojyo explodes. He can’t help it. Goku has no right. He’s supposed to eat and squabble and space out and snore and eat and… and not turn Gojyo’s world upside down by staying calm and wangling a room with him every night and asking for things that not even Hakkai will be able to scrub clean from Gojyo’s brain.

“GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK APE SKULL, I’M NOT CRAZY ENOUGH TO EVER WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.”

Goku blinks. His lips twist a little at the corners. His eyes take on a suspicious sheen.

Gojyo’s rage drops dully into the pit of his stomach.

“Awww, kid – ”

“I’m not a kid,” Goku retorts, his voice wavering just enough to convince Gojyo that he really is scum. Goku turns towards the wall, hunching his shoulders dejectedly.

“I didn’t mean it. I mean, I did mean it but that doesn’t mean… Oh crap.”

“’m’I that repulsive?” Goku sniffles.

“No!” Gojyo glances at Goku’s back, seeing a telltale heave.

“Shit, Goku, you don’t really want to be with me so why are you doing this anyway?” Gojyo asks gently, when Goku’s breathing evens out again.

“I need th’ experience and you’re always bragging.” Goku swipes at his eyes and twists back, gaze pleading as he adds hesitantly, “I just thought you could help me out.”

“There’s no rush, Goku. You’ll meet the right person someday,” Gojyo says kindly.

Goku closes his eyes and mutters something that sounds a lot like ‘already have’.

“Look,” Gojyo explains patiently, “experience doesn’t count for everything. Maybe he – or she,” Gojyo adds quickly, “will be glad you waited for them.” Personally, Gojyo is quite comfortable with the idea of Goku waiting forever. That will line up nicely with the length of time it will take for the object of Goku’s all-too-transparent affections to get the stick out of his ass.

“He said I didn’t even know what I was asking for,” Goku admits.

“He what?” Gojyo asks, flabbergasted. When the hell did that little conversation take place? “I mean, he who?” Gojyo tries to cover. No way does he want to be the agony aunt for Goku’s ill-fated crush.

Goku shakes his head at Gojyo’s pathetic attempt at dissembling.

“He _laughed_ at me.”

Goku looks truly miserable and Gojyo feels his belly fire up again.

“I’ll kill him,” he promises. “I’ll beat his holy ass until he realises he’s not good enough to kiss the ground you walk on.”

Goku summons a shaky smile; the first Gojyo has seen on his face in days. “Nah, don’t do that. I’d just have to kick your stupid Kappa butt if you tried.”

Gojyo grins back, feeling weariness flow through him as he finally relaxes.

“Let’s get some sleep, jerkwad.”

Goku’s smile slips from his face, leaving him looking forlorn.

Gojyo wonders if it’s possible to kick his own ass. He might as well get in first. Sanzo’s going to shoot it full of lead if he gets even an inkling of what Gojyo’s currently contemplating. He looks at the ceiling, hoping for a reprieve. Nup. His conscience is still trying to force him somewhere he really doesn’t want to go.

“Gojyo?” Goku asks, “you look kinda… constipated.”

Gojyo forces a sickly smile onto his face and pats the bed next to him.

“Really?” Goku sounds overjoyed and scampers over immediately. “Thanks.” He winds his arms tightly around Gojyo and beams right into his face.

Gojyo takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes. He’s going to have to rely on his imagination here. Otherwise he won’t be able to perform and that will mean that Goku will have to –

Gojyo shudders. He’d never live it down. Not that anyone would be able to torture that confession out of him.

“Where do we start?” Goku bounces on the bed enthusiastically.

Gojyo bites the inside of his mouth and tentatively slides his arms up Goku’s back. He thinks of the last time he felt lean muscle beneath his hands…

Fuck. Bad idea. Because if Sanzo doesn’t kill him for this, then Hakkai surely will.

“Beer,” Gojyo declares at last. “We start with at least a six pack of beer.”


End file.
